I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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