just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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