I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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