Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I smell stomach acid.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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