You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I would ride that face into the sunset
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize