Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
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she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
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It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize