I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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