I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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