We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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