i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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