how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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