I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
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I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
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Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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