what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
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He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
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She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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