He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
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How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
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You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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