they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize