you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
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I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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