We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize