It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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