it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize