It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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