I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
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I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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