yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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