Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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