omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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