Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
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