I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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