is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize