Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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