When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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