I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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