i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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