And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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