Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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