Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize