First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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