I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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