I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
You smell like stripper and shame
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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