if you like me you must not know who I am
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
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we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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