dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize