just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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