all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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