There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize