Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
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say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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