ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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