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the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Randomize
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