How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize