mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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