he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
you win again, gameday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize