I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize