Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize